=MissEff

ist normalerweise irritierend.

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[2009-10]

Journal Entry: Thu Dec 31, 2009, 11:25 PM

Mood: Regretful

_{I don't feel like typing up lyrics.
just clickthe damn link.

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2009= waste.

Most of my life is a waste, really. But 2009 was epicish in it. I don't know, I just can't even seem to think of anything useful I've done with it. I guess I lost about 15-20 pounds, but there's still too much of me. There were no large improvements in artistry. I didn't learn any new skills, or do anything cool.

2010= Probably going to also be wasted.

I wish I could be the person I want to be in this year. I wish people would quit 'loving' me. Because I've had no less than 5 people declare that they are in love with me in 2009, and it makes me want to kill shit that I should be so deceptive as to make them want the semi-emotionless shell that is me. I don't like that I'm such a good liar that I'm to the point of being able to do it without words and they all believe me. I intend to become even thinner. To maybe improve in artistry, although I've ultimately decided that I suck and am most definitely joining the National Guard and then moving into the Mortuary Arts. I'd also like to improve my ability to play snare, and maybe NOT be a bassdrum in marching this year. Maybe I'll come out, even.

I don't know.

I doubt I'll accomplish any of that.

XoXo Effie. <3}~~+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+~~

10 Comments

[OHMIGASH. Christmas journal.]

Journal Entry: Fri Dec 25, 2009, 2:48 PM

Mood: Christmas Spirited

_{Don't patronize,
I realize,
I'm losing, and this is my real life.
I'm half asleep,
but I am wide awake,
This habit is always so hard to break.

+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+

I hate when people complain about seeing their family on Holidays. My whole family ignores us, they won't even send cards. They're under the impression that Mum is some sort of plague, despite her being three years clean in January. It's whatever, I guess. Just kind of irritating that we have such a huge family but none of them care we exist. [Well, I guess it's just Mum's side. But Daddy's so old that most of his side is dead. And Ryne hasn't seen HIS dad in like...13 years. My father's sister Lori sends us all cards and love even though she's got her family to be distracted with, so that's nice of her.]

ANYWAY, on to more cheerful things:

I SMELL LIKE CANDY. Aunt Lori got me this lotion/perfume called ' pink' from Victoria's Secret. I feel utterly delicious.

She sent us all smelly stuff, because she's...very into things that smell nice.

I got some assorted cosmetics and a couple shirts, two books, and a giftcard to Hot Topic. AND HETALIA PINS. But my favourite gift was probably this fine-tip black ballpoint pen that Mum gave me. She doesn't really pay any attention to the things I'm interested in, which is okay. So it was kind of nice of her to remember that I was driving myself up a wall looking for this apparently very-hard-to-find pen a couple months ago when mine ran out. It's a good year. Daddy even popped in for a little while to hang out. But then he had to leave, and Mum went to work, and Ryne wandered off to his girlfriend's house.

So...That leaves me. I think I'm probably gonna go clean my room or something. I don't know, I'm having trouble finding my book shelf, which I need to rearrange in light of the new books.

How have your Holidays been?

XoXo Effie. <3}~~+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+~~

7 Comments

[Anonymity. Sort of.]

Journal Entry: Mon Dec 21, 2009, 3:08 PM

Mood: Relief

_{But somewhere we went wrong,
We were once so strong.
Our love is like a song,
You can't forget it.

+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+

I NEED SOMETHING TO KICK MY BITCHY INTOLERANT JOURNAL OFF THE PAGE.

So, some more of those anonymous things.

...If you see something and think it's you, don't ask me if it's you, because I won't tell you, even if it actually is. You can assume that if you think it is, it probably is, though. Or not.

I. Maybe I LIKE your cold internet love, you crazy Briton.

II. I hate it when you 'congradulate' me on something. It's nice and civil of you and all, and I do appreciate it, but THAT'S NOT A FUCKING WORD. it's with a T. A T! CONGRATULATIONS.

III. Your decision to 'transition' in a few months when you turn 18 makes me uncomfortable, even though I'll never tell you that to your face. I've known you as a boy. You'll always be a boy to me even if you've always worn Girl's clothes and I have no idea why the prospect of your gender swapping makes me this uncomfortable when I'd be okay if it were anyone else.

IV. I'm sorry that you think I'm your fault, just because you let me raise myself until I was 12. I think I'm a good parent, and I don't hate you. I've never hated you, even when you were drunk and pointing your boyfriend's gun at me. I'm okay, you're okay. You're almost three years sober and I'm really proud of you. I don't mean to make you feel this awful about yourself. I don't mean to come of as mentally ill to you. I'm fine. Everything's fine. And I know you don't, but I need you to believe me.

V. You told me that you loved me, once. And I guess I kind of liked that. Because I love you too, you know? I guess it's kind of awful of me to still want you to love me even when I've got a girlfriend and I don't really think I'm the sort of person anyone should love, even if it's not in the romantic sense. I'm sorry that I make it so hard, or that we've drifted, or whatever. But I'm trying, okay? Even if not for your love, just..something. I miss you.

VI. It's kind of nice giving up on shunning you. I forgot about the awesome shit we made together.

VII. Sometimes, I really need to talk to you. I do, because you said I could, and I have believed you. But, you know, whenever I try to talk to you about something serious lately...After a lot of very unhelpful 'Mmm's '>:'s and 'Ah...'s that make it clearly evident to me that you're not even FUCKING PAYING ATTENTION, we somehow end up talking about your love life. I'm thrilled for you, really, but I no longer believe your vow to listen.

VIII. I don't even really like you very much at all. You're whiney and I hate that you and your sister are both in my same friend circle, because all you do is bicker and start Drama. But no one else really wants to be your friend...at all. Everyone deserves a friend, So I guess I'll be yours. Because you're kind of sweet when I can put a leash on my irritation.

IX. I hope you're fucking expelled because I'm tired of looking at you. I feel that I'll be able to forget your existance entirely if I don't have to see you everyday. Do you think you're cool smoking pot in the school bathroom? We all know you only did it so you could get caught. You're an attention whore, and don't seem to realize you should be trying to get a different kind of attention.

X. I think you're really sexy, just because you play the harp. I liked that we had to stand next to eachother for so many sets in band this year, You're the amazingest snare-chick I know.

And now, a moment of my Government and Law class:

Mr.Zehr: So, the Declaration of Independence was pretty much us giving England the finger and telling them we didn't want to be with them anymore.
Me:...You mean like a break up letter? <3
Mr.Zehr:..........I hate Hetalia so. much.

XoXo Effie. <3}~~+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+~~

24 Comments

[IGetIrritatedAsTheHolidaysApproach.]

Journal Entry: Sun Dec 20, 2009, 1:44 PM

Mood: Grumpy

_{I pay more attention to Eurovisionthan I do to American Idol.

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I get bitchy around Christmas.
And I LOVE Christmas, so.

I'm just really bothered when Atheists celebrate Christmas. It's the equivalent of a Christian showing up at a Samhain ceremony. [Maybe a Wiccan example probably wasn't the best choice here, considering Jesus was born in the summer and the Church just moved the holiday to December to interfere with Yule. But I digress.]I feel like my savior is being belittled by being used as an excuse for holiday by people who don't believe he exists.

I also hate Atheists saying 'Oh my God' or 'Goddamn'.

Which is not to say I hate Atheists. Not believing in my God doesn't make people BAD people. I just think that if you don't believe in something, you shouldn't do certain things.} You should really all ignore me.

_{This is just my Christmas Bitch being...bitchy.

XoXo Effie. <3}~~+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+~~

12 Comments

[I can't hit ten. ANDFROGISABITCHFACE]

Journal Entry: Wed Dec 16, 2009, 6:18 PM

Mood: Bemused

_{We're goin' down.

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ALSO, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST MEGLING.

I tried to do 'Ten things I love' and realized I couldn't find ten things I truly loved. Maybe I need to think harder.

Or, the more likely and often pointed out to me:
I'm an emotionless waste of space.

At any length, THIS STUPID SKANKWAD TAGGED ME:

Your name?
is of little importance. 'Kelsey'; It's stupid and common and that pretty much sums me up to a T.

If possible, your age?
OVURR NINE THOUSAAAANDD-

...Or fifteen, Sixteen come January.

When did you start drawing?
I started drawing when I was younger and one of my oldest memories is my Grandmother making fun of the ' Potato People ' I made on the Etch-a-sketch when I was four. Then I kind of did nothing art-related until I was Eleven, when I fell into heavy anime fandom. So, yeah. I've gone from nothing, to the shit I draw now in 4 years. -fail-

Which hand do you use for drawing?
The right, see the above mentioned 'stupid and common'.

Which is easier to draw - male or female?
Ah...neither are really hard? I usually draw boys. Girls are more fun, however.

Which is easier to draw - long hair or short hair?
Either. Both. I have fun with hair.

What do you have problems in drawing?
LOL EVERYTHING. DO YOU SEE THE SUCK THAT IS MY GALLERY?

What do you like to draw?
Blood.
Monsters.
Zombies and bones and nightmares and ink and deadthings.
Except, I guess, I feel kind of bad about the fact that these are the things that rule my mind. It's very unfeminine and it makes me feel sort of ugly that I find these things beautiful.

Where do you start drawing from?
A..place on a piece of paper? Often the head, but sometimes the body, or sometimes with the background, when I make backgrounds at all- Which I don't. refer back to 'The suck that is my Gallery'.

What is your drawing habit that you are aware of?
I am unoriginal. I have like, three head angles I can draw, and two poses. All my faces and eyes and noses are shaped the same. I've been trying to differentiate more in my characters lately, and find better poses.

Any tips for coloring/shading?
...I'm not very good at either of those things. Plus, those are kind of hit-and-miss and should be figured out by the artist.

..But I love crosshatching hardcore. IT'S MY FAVOURITE.

How long does it take to finish a piece of art?
I have a feeling I'd do a lot better if I spent time on things. But after a little bit, I'm just sick of looking at it.

The longest I've spent on a piece is 3 hours, I think.

What music do you listen to while you draw?
Whatever I want.

How long does it take you to come up with an idea?
Ideas? Hah. Everything I do looks the same, I have no ideas. I draw simply because I have the ability. Ideas and creativity are lacking because I'm worthless. <3

Your favorite drawing utensils?
ink and ink and ink.

Your favorite color/the color that you use a lot?
fave= Pink. Used= black.
Coincidentally, my outfit today is purely pink and black. Which is gay, I guess, but I was very happy that I realized this as I was typing.

Your favorite style(s)?
...Ink. I like things with a lot of ink used.

What kind of artist are you aiming for?
Fuck aiming. If I aimed and shot, I'd miss anyway. It's not like I'm going anywhere for an art career, I'm not good enough.

Thank you. Now please fill in the next columns by writing the names of the artists that match the criteria. Artists tagged must complete or die.

Cool: =Sisiera
Cute: ~DesdemonaKakalose
Stylish: ~cwena
Unique: ~snakesskin
Moe: ~Yeyana
Tasty: ~Vyrrawxja
Smart:....I consider you all dumb for coming down to my level to be my friends. SO THERE.
Sexy: ~skitzoPHUX
Suave: =sushi
MOSTBESTSTYLEEVER: BUT I LIKE MOST PEOPLE'S STYLES.
Ugly: =MissEff

XoXo Effie. <3}~~+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+~~

8 Comments

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Journal History

Dec 31, 2009 [2009-10]
Dec 25, 2009 [OHMIGASH. Christmas journal.]
Dec 21, 2009 [Anonymity. Sort of.]
Dec 20, 2009 [IGetIrritatedAsTheHolidaysApproach.]
Dec 16, 2009 [I can't hit ten. ANDFROGISABITCHFACE]
Dec 14, 2009 [II.]
Dec 1, 2009 [I gah a couple'a loo-niss.]
Nov 21, 2009 [By a BEAVER.]
Nov 13, 2009 {[Another Eight Down.]}
Nov 10, 2009 Devious Journal Entry

Shoutbox

=MissEff: ...We SHOULD preserve them.
Mon Dec 21, 2009, 3:08 PM
~Vyrrawxja: AND THERE STILL ARE O_O -almost wants to preserve them-
Sun Dec 20, 2009, 2:02 PM
=MissEff: OMFG. YOU'RE RIGHT, MEGLING.
Mon Nov 2, 2009, 3:19 PM
~Vyrrawxja: OH MY GOD. THERE'S COMMENTS STILL IN HERE FROM WHEN MICHAEL JACKSON WAS ALIVE.
Wed Oct 14, 2009, 8:51 PM
~OneWingedTurtle: /touches
Wed Sep 16, 2009, 7:44 PM
~Yeyana: Don't. Even. Know.
Wed Jul 29, 2009, 11:03 AM
~DesdemonaKakalose: what is this obsession with human lunch meat products?
Wed Jul 8, 2009, 12:30 PM
=MissEff: SPAM! D:
Mon Jun 8, 2009, 8:51 AM
~Yeyana: S-S-S-S-SPAYUM.
Sun Jun 7, 2009, 7:33 PM
~Vyrrawxja: OMG DEAD SHOUTBOX D< SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
Sun Jun 7, 2009, 4:42 PM